Holes

I am ready to fill the holes in my photo albums
With someone new.





Photo: http://www.xanga.com/itsalwaysbeenyou_quotes?nextdate=1/15/2009%2018:8:2.687

Everything is Amazing, Nobody's Happy

I just watched this fantastically funny clip of comedian Louis CK on the Conan O'Brien show. I love the message of his segment: that everything is amazing but nobody's happy. I totally agree with him in that there are some mind-blowing, amazing things today that people just don't stop to appreciate. Technology is incredible, taking us places we've never been before. Connectivity is outstanding, virtually linking us to everyone else at all times. Information is vast, free and at our fingertips whenever we need it. It is an amazing time to be alive and, sadly, many people walk around with their iPods in their ears, cell phones on, complaining about the service availability. Take a look at this clip and maybe you, too, will feel incredibly thankful to be alive today.

A Cold Day In April

Today the wind blew so cold and so hard,
sending the trees to tap nervously against my window.
Days like this are much less bitter
when there is someone else to keep you warm.






Photo from lovepicturesoflove.net

Simple Fulfillment

Someone told me I was a good writer today.

This meant more to me than all of the:

degrees
certificates
honors
medals
awards

that are gathering dust in my attic.

An Awakening

However inappropriate this may be, I just love it. To me, the only thing better than falling slowly and sweetly in love with someone is getting slapped broadside across the face with the fact that you are in love!! It's the sneaking love, the love that you can't believe is happening, that is the more fun and exhilarating kind. Sort of like when you fall in love with your best friend and you think, Shit, now how did THIS happen?

Dresses For You

I wore a dress for you.
With each spin I made, my eyes browsed the door,
Longing and hoping to see your entrance.
You never came and my heart knew this
Long before the ice melted in my drink.
It will be so good again.
I will wear dresses for you everyday
And whisper secrets to you in funny little voices.
I wonder if you know the power of your scent on my pillow
Or how the sound of the door hinge
Makes my heart sink.





Image from: weheartit.com

The Game of Love

One of my very best friends got married this past weekend in a beautiful ceremony, reception and all-around day. I have to admit though, that I was, selfishly, dreading the day. I mean I love Lori and her new husband is great and it has nothing to do with them as a couple whatsoever. My impending dread had wholly and completely everything to do with my own turmoil.

Being a 26 year-old divorced woman is a typically shocking and pity-inducing thing for many people to discover. On the exterior, I probably seem to have it all together: college graduate, articulate, goal-oriented, friendly and generally high-spirited. When people find out that I am divorced, I get a mixture of “Awwws,” and “Poor things” and “How the hell did that happens”. And the truth is, sometimes I wonder these things myself!

I have always held marriage with such high regard. My parents have been married for 33 years. Both sets of grandparents topped fifty years. Marriage has always been a sacred, wonderful, certainly difficult at times, union that is the ultimate expression of love and devotion in my eyes. When I vowed in front of everyone I knew to be with one man forever, I meant it! Yet here I am, four short years later, ironing out the details of a divorce from that exact man.

The plain truth is that life is a crazy crazy journey and you just never know where it will lead you. Likewise, people, minds, relationships and lives change every second of every day and sometimes those changes are just too much for the heart to handle. I am certainly not pardoning the collapse of my marriage, but I have learned over the past two years to look at things through kinder eyes and to realize that everything happens for a reason.

Having made it through my friend’s wedding unscathed and overjoyous at her overjoyousness, I can even further appreciate the gamble that love truly is. Lori is a beautiful, strong and intelligent woman who has taken the ultimate chance on love. What more amazing thing can you think of?

A wise friend once told me that love is a crapshoot and a scary game, but one that is too sweet to resist. Each of us can make a choice in life and in love: you can either sit on the sidelines and watch others play the scary and wonderful game of love without you, or you can join in and give it a go. Sure, you’re bound to get scraped, bruised, hurt and damaged, but isn’t the end result worth the risk? For what kind of life is one lived without loving?

A little note can go a long way.

Somewhere in all of the random websites I find, I came across this photo. The idea is simple, it's a small business card with the short message, "You are beautiful" on it. Once given the card, you are meant to pass it on to someone who you think is beautiful.

I absolutely love this idea!! I think that why it appeals to me so much is because so many people have such a hard time expressing how they feel to another person. This little act of kindness lets someone else know that you care and can totally brighten someone's day.

I saw another site once where a girl wrote little notes in her notebook and tore out the pages, hiding them about in public places for others to find. For example, she left one in a public restroom thanking the cleaners for working so hard; another was a positive thought left for someone on a park bench. This seems like such a fun and easy way to make someone's day a little bit more cheery. I think I will do this. But, knowing me, I will probably hide around the corner to watch for the finder's expression as they happen upon my little happy note. :)

Sweet Dreams

As night deepens and the cool air pushes its way past our curtain,
Your sweet breath slows and creates the rhythm I live by.
Our feet are tangled in sheets,
But that doesn’t matter because they are our sheets.

You are a million miles away and,
While my mind busies with a million little getting ready things,
My eyes settle on your gentle rise and fall.
Rise.
Fall.

Spaceships orbit earth.
I motate, emote, transform.
And still, your gentle rise and fall brings me home,
Like the fast pedals of my bike.
Like the fastest pedaling on my bike.

Through the cloak of night,
I watch your eyelashes flutter.
I come and fill the empty space your body bends to,
And your rhythm becomes mine.
Rise.
Fall.
You.
Me.

Focus on the good.

I have this friend who is utterly, incessantly, obnoxiously positive. Just to be clear, I am a very positive person. But this friend, he can take virtually any situation and pull something positive out of it. I mean, when I told said friend of my impending divorce and how my ex had cheated and what a bastard, etc., my friend actually had me relating to my ex! By the end of our conversation, I was actually forgiving the cheating ex-husband and thinking of how our separation was a blessing in disguise. (Of course, this friend was and probably is right but as a newly cheated on divorcee, sometimes you just want to bitch and wallow, right? Over time, I have learned not to go to him for one of my whiny, I-just-want-you-to-listen-and-agree conversations. I rely on my other, more melodramatic friends for those times. :) )

I came across this quote and instantly thought of my friend and instantly felt grateful to have him in my life. Because he and the anonymous quote-sayer are right: life is way too short to be anything less than happy. And when you surround yourself with people, books, movies, food and other things that make you undeniably happy, it is much harder to focus on the bad in your life. If there is one thing that I have learned in life, it's that laughter truly is the best medicine. And knowing someone with whom you can regularly share a gut-busting, tear-inducing, whole-hearted laugh is priceless.