One of my very best friends got married this past weekend in a beautiful ceremony, reception and all-around day. I have to admit though, that I was, selfishly, dreading the day. I mean I love Lori and her new husband is great and it has nothing to do with them as a couple whatsoever. My impending dread had wholly and completely everything to do with my own turmoil.
Being a 26 year-old divorced woman is a typically shocking and pity-inducing thing for many people to discover. On the exterior, I probably seem to have it all together: college graduate, articulate, goal-oriented, friendly and generally high-spirited. When people find out that I am divorced, I get a mixture of “Awwws,” and “Poor things” and “How the hell did that happens”. And the truth is, sometimes I wonder these things myself!
I have always held marriage with such high regard. My parents have been married for 33 years. Both sets of grandparents topped fifty years. Marriage has always been a sacred, wonderful, certainly difficult at times, union that is the ultimate expression of love and devotion in my eyes. When I vowed in front of everyone I knew to be with one man forever, I meant it! Yet here I am, four short years later, ironing out the details of a divorce from that exact man.
The plain truth is that life is a crazy crazy journey and you just never know where it will lead you. Likewise, people, minds, relationships and lives change every second of every day and sometimes those changes are just too much for the heart to handle. I am certainly not pardoning the collapse of my marriage, but I have learned over the past two years to look at things through kinder eyes and to realize that everything happens for a reason.
Having made it through my friend’s wedding unscathed and overjoyous at her overjoyousness, I can even further appreciate the gamble that love truly is. Lori is a beautiful, strong and intelligent woman who has taken the ultimate chance on love. What more amazing thing can you think of?
A wise friend once told me that love is a crapshoot and a scary game, but one that is too sweet to resist. Each of us can make a choice in life and in love: you can either sit on the sidelines and watch others play the scary and wonderful game of love without you, or you can join in and give it a go. Sure, you’re bound to get scraped, bruised, hurt and damaged, but isn’t the end result worth the risk? For what kind of life is one lived without loving?
The last paragraph was an absolute joy to read and makes perfect sense.
ReplyDeleteGoing through some of your other posts I must say that you do write well :)
Thank you for this blog that brought a smile on my face
Thanks, glad I could make you smile. :)
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