Brown Cookware

You picked out new cookware,
Pots, pans, kettles, casseroles.
All the best brands because
You’ve never settled, have you?
I think brown is a dumb color
For cookware but I’m not sharing it.
You don’t need plates though
Because you’re using ours.
Pass me the butter dish, darling.
Yes, that’s right, the one that used to be hers.
I like my butter dirty and used.

I wonder if you ever get confused,
Lie in bed and think about
Which face you’re going to wake up to;
Mine that greeted you for nearly a decade,
Or hers, just dying to paint just the right
Expression for you.
I bet she sleeps in her makeup.
You got a cat and cats are stupid.
You strum along to Zeppelin and she hums too,
Not knowing that you learned
Over the Hills and Far Away for me
And that the first time you played it through
We cried like children.

Your jeans with holes,
Your leftover crust,
Your falling out hair and
Your inability to spell reminisce.
These are all hers now and
Thank god.
You were terrible at remembering
When to take out the garbage and
She seems just the type to help you out.

We Knew Just Friends Couldn't Work

I missed you more than I should have.
The days we didn’t talk
Actually made it easier to get on.
And we both knew just friends couldn’t work.
Weeks went by and we finally decided
We could hang out.
But when I innocently bent over
And pressed my lips to the top of your head,
And when you sat up and looked at me
Asking with your eyes if that was
What you thought it was,
I knew.
After a few agonizing seconds of
Wondering if we were really going to do this,
You kissed me as if there weren’t weeks
Between our lips’ last meeting.
Same taste, same touch, same tenderness.
Everything—the truth that we’ll never work out,
The pep talk I gave myself on the way over,
The insurmountable differences—it all just
Melted away.
And what was left was you and me,
Our lips dancing and your hands in my hair
On your bed in our quiet town,
The world spinning madly on outside your window.
We knew just friends couldn’t work.

Stupid Song

I heard that stupid song you love today. The twangy one about chicken and blue jeans.
I hate this song, it’s ridiculous. But I couldn’t turn the dial, wouldn’t dare. Because with every word I was reminded of another moment we shared, another second I’d trade ten days for now. Driving with the windows down. Walking through town. Sleeping on the too-small couch together with our bodies tangled. Buying flowers. As it ended, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment at my realization that I let the whole damn song play just because it brought me back to you. A stupid song about chicken and blue jeans can bring me back to you and back to my sad realization that I never got to say to you what I had to say. You’ll never know that with those windows down, in that town, during that nap, among those flowers, I was desperately, unstoppably, irrevocably falling in love with you. And now, the closest I come to anything resembling love is flushing when I hear that stupid song about chicken and blue jeans….

Nameless Love

Most nights I’m fine.
I crawl into my bed alone and it’s my choice.
I dream about faraway lands and
Fairy tale times and
Wake to another day
Full with the potential of finally
Saying hello to you.

But some nights I’m
Notsofine.
Sometimes I just want you to hold me,
Laugh with me,
Tell me I’m pretty.
These are the nights when
I get so mad at myself
For not telling you my secret:
I think you are mine!

How do you tell someone
You love them when you
Don’t even know their name?

Thursday Poem

sometimes when it’s been a really long day
and all I want to do is come home,
crawl into your arms
and melt off into love,
it’s all I can do to keep from screaming
and laughing
and crying
all at once at the thought of that flawless,
breath-taking moment when I
finally get to feel the electricity
of your touch,
smell in your smell
and taste all of those amazing, unsaid words
for me on your lips.
touch me again and show me
that easy way in which you
take my whole soul’s world and shake it
to the core as if it were a
tambourine in your lonely heart’s club band.

Full Moon Love

What is it about the full moon
That makes my skin stand
In tiny little bumps
When your breath passes close enough
That I can breathe in the possibilities
That rise and fall with each exhale;
Each goosebump--its own mountain
Of fear, anxiety, disquietude--
Melts into an ocean of touches
When you fold me into you.

Butterflies Gone By

Is it too much to ask for magic? Am I too old to be expecting butterflies anymore? Have I lost the innocence and naivety needed to feel infatuation again? As I lie in bed next to Mr. Perfectforme, I inevitably feel the sneaking snake of doubt come creeping into my mind. I feel guilt for feeling doubt because I should be letting myself go, falling in love, head spinning. But I'm not. I'm thinking of dishes in the sink, presents to be wrapped, e-mails to reply to. When I roll over and sees his amazing baby blues staring at me, I don't get flutters and flickers. Instead, my mind floats back to another time, another place, another set of arms which, when wrapped among, gave me the flutters and flickers. I miss those arms and those feelings. I would give anything to have one more night in those arms, the butterflies flying crazy inside of me.

'Tis the Season for Love

'Tis the season for love and this is one of my favorite little holiday songs to celebrate having someone to smile about this Christmas.

Love and Merry Christmas!

Song: 30 Days by Never Shout Never!

Laying With the Wrong Person

The only way that this will work is if I keep you at bay; don’t let you get inside the wounded, bruised mess that is my heart. When you talk--your words so void of the deepness that I long for--I realize that you are decidedly not the man I should be sleeping next to. I realize that I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life, again. But for whatever reason—your smile, your eyes, your smell—-I can’t bring myself to do the right thing. Just tell you that I am not into this, that you are not what I need right now. Instead, I continue to let you think, believe, feel, get attached. What am I supposed to do? Crawl back to my own bed, alone, cold, unwanted? I’d rather keep you distant but right next to me. Keep the ideal you—-the one I was praying that you would turn into when we met-—in my thoughts and in my mind. Does this make me desperate, shallow, cruel? I’d rather lay with the wrong person knowingly than spend another night alone. I’m a mess of miscalculations and misreadings, but does that mean that I should go back to alone? A brave person would come clean, would admit to only needing you for your embrace. But brave I am not. I am afraid. I am weak-kneed. I am terrified to wake up and realize that I am totally, utterly and completely alone. So I keep you at bay, all the while knowing that you are falling and falling and that I am just waiting for the right moment to slip out into the night, away from you and the bucket of emotions you are poised to pour on me.

Unrequited Love

I can’t help it that I don’t feel that way
When I look at you.
I can’t help it that you do.
From the beginning I knew
This was all wrong.
I didn’t feel the ache for you.
Food tasted normal,
Birds sounded the same,
The sky was plain old blue.
But I needed it to be so badly
That I kept on.
I let it go.
I held you back.
All the while knowing that
I would never dream of you
Or feel that way when I look at you.



Image: WeHeartIt.com

Your Light For Me

Would you mind if I sat a while with you?
No words. No fuss.
I just want to sit in your warmth,
Feel your breath,
And share in your light.
The crazy day keeps knocking on my door,
Begging me to come out from under these sheets.
But you’re too good to pass up
And the day can wait.
I’m happy with you,
Happy enough to forget all about
The clouds that were settling in
Just before you lit up my life,
Bright and sunny for the world to see.

Learning to Say I Love You Again

I don’t know what your middle name is
Or if you went to the prom or not.
I don’t know your favorite color
And if you wear that color everyday.
I don’t know your music
Or if you like gel or paste toothpaste.
I don’t know when you were born or where,
How you got to be here or there.

I don’t know if you like The Beatles
Or D.H. Lawrence
Or hot dogs.
I don’t know what your mom does
Or how many times you’ve been to Disney.
I don’t know anything about you
Except that when you walk into the room,
Something happens to me.
Something that makes me believe again.
Something that makes me want to
Put my heart out there again.
Something that makes me want to
learn to say “I love you” again.

Feeling Like This

Sometimes it's so easy to get lost
In the busy days, nights, in betweens,
That I lose track of the fact that
I've been missing this in my life.
But when I see you,
I get those old feelings
That make me realize
How much I've missed feeling like this.

Would You Like to Fall With Me?

It’s been so long since I’ve felt
The weight of another person.
I wonder what your weight feels like.
You’re so cute when you’re nervous,
You smile a lot more and
Mess up your hair when you stumble over a word.
I haven’t fallen in so long,
Haven’t let myself go.
I finally have somewhere to fall and
Just want to ask you:
Would you like to fall with me?



Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aaahhphil/3944631780/

I've Fallen For You

Source: My apologies but I've lost the source on this one!

I Want To Know You

Why does talking to you,
Taking that first step toward you,
Have to be so hard?
I want to know you,
The real you.
I want to know if you sleep with socks on,
And if you sing in the shower,
And how you look when you
Hear a song you haven’t heard in years.
I want you to know all of my silly little quirks
And to see some of yours to fall in love with.
I want to ask you to share a coffee
And not say something dumb about
The weather or when the garbage goes out.
In my mind I’ve asked you a million times
To sit and get to love me
So I can get to love you.
In my mind you’ve called me
And I’ve answered and
I’ve finally gotten it right.
I can tell you are something special
Because every time I see you
I can’t even remember my name
Or how lonely I was
Just before you walked in.

Come Home

The minute you left
These walls felt too close.
Even the pictures felt wrong.
I listen for your car door,
your keys,
your feet on the mat.
Knowing that I’ll never hear them
Makes this emptiness even bigger.
I’m weak with wanting
To reach you. Tell you. Show you.
I’ve called for you everywhere
Knowing you are already
Too far to hear me.
We are already worlds apart.
I pace the floor,
Hoping that every approaching car
Is yours, coming to take me
In your arms and tell me that you’ve
Come home to me and
Let’s make some coffee and
Laugh at the world that’s full of people
Who will never be as lucky as we are.

The Quest

The quest for this continues...








Photo: theselby.com

Fall Is

Two chai lattes, to go.
The scarf I knit you and
The mittens you gave me.
Warming up under a blanket.
Catching the warm days and
Laying in the park to savor them.
Crisp night skies with fall stars.
Leaves in my hair,
Dirt under your nails.
Carving our initials into a pumpkin.
Sharing a pocket so we can still hold hands.
Hearty soups and wholesome breads.
Remembering how your hair color
Changes with the seasons.
Forgetting the window open and
Having to sleep closer.

Love Rocks

Here's an adorable little pic that can remind us all of how amazing it is to fall in love!!

PS--Don't you just love desecration of public property in the name of love? :)


(Photo: www.quitor.com)